Yet another one gone on home…..

If I get another message about someone else who has gone on… I think I’m just going to scream…. This is just a bit much… When I was a little child death used to scare me so badly. In fact I really wasn’t allowed to go to funerals because the nightmares…. made me beat up my bedroom wall. Now, that I’m older… it’s a feeling of sickness and sadness. People die and I’m stunned for days, weeks, months, years….  I know I’m not alone, it’s hard to wrap ones mind around death. Mostly I’m literally shocked, lost for words.

So many have come my way in the recent years, I’m finding I don’t cry anymore it seems. I’m just numb. I pray for the family. I know how such lost feels. The grave sense of  emptiness and a pain that seems unquenchable.

I’m still in SHOCK and grief  over some of my own loss and it seems like each month now someone new. slips away. We can’t really prepare for it, even though we try or have upfront knowledge.

Today I’m sad for another friend. Last month a college friend, the month one of my dearest friends from grade school,  heard of her mother’s death. How does one reach out? With prayer and support of presence if you can. Words slip by in the blank stares as we grapple to adjust to the new reality.

Well I’ll continue to call those others out in prayer the fresh ones and those who are still in the mourning stages of acceptance. Even me, I’m at a lost for words; although I know we all will go one day. I just need a minute to catch my breath and breathe without so much grief. DEATH IS SO FINAL…

Then there are the deaths of relationships, people who are tender and dear to your heart. Sometimes its necessary for the end to come, but still it doesn’t hurt any less. It too takes its place in our heart of hearts and the pain of loss grips us intensely.

I’m reminded of David how he expressed his grief when he lost his son. He was in intense agony and distress. We see this in Psalm 31:9-10. His life at that moment was consumed in anguish, his strength was gone and his bones were weak. 

In all the pain and misery…. however,  there is hope for the future after death of any form.  God can restore joy. Isaiah 51:11…. Gladness and joy will overtake them, and sorrow and sighing will flee.

That day will come at some point, but we must keep going forward and moving into a place of strength…God will carry us through to the other side.


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