Singleness always pops in my mind on 2/22. Today I’m thinking….. Yes.. I really could have the ring/name change/warmth in bed.. But none of that would be God’s best!!!
My Father wouldn’t give me a lying DECEIVER with no integrity.
Not a MAN who would just follow me to church but doesn’t want to lead me there. Pretending to love God but denying His standards, Holiness, and expectations of the single call.
One who tries desperately to make me UNDERSTAND… “HEY I’M A MAN” it’s different for us than for ladies, just a touch, a taste, a look a peep, please give me something, phone sex, picture something to let me fall asleep. I need to visualize your eyes, your smile, your perfume… God will forgive us, really he will.
Or one Lacking SECURITY and frustrating me with out of control manipulation jealousy & crazy control. Ohhh way too scary!!! Who is Tom? who is Mary? Who is Jim? Who is Sally?… Who is Jaffa??!!??…. (Come on man, he is just my puppy, short, white and hairy)
Nor one with the duckies who says, ” Let me send you on a cruise, I’ll meet you there, no one will know we’ll be out of your territory, your influence,” I’ll buy you the perfume you want, pay your bills, give you a building for the ministry” Just don’t share too much about me in public, I’m well known and you are too.
On the contrary the One who wants to take from my account for me to prove and show I really do care; but can’t or won’t give; nor is able to pay his own bills. Not even keep a cell phone on from one month to the next. Then creates bogus ways to get cash, sad sob stories about child support, lost money, sick mothers or fathers, lost wallets and missing gigs.
Nor the type of mate that’s intimidated by external extremities attached to me. Aggravated at the way and magnitude of the way God has blessed and sustained me.
God wouldn’t send me one who states I make him feel BIG and just spends his free time wandering aimlessly with his main and sole purpose is the hope to marry me. No goals, vision, purpose just waiting for me to rest in his arms when there is so much kingdom work to be done!!!
Whew…..In light of some of my LIFE experiences; the years that have come and gone. The counterfeits that have come along. The years of being called out my name, speculated about, or tossed aside, rejected or denied. The nights and days I cried. Shaking my head in total dismay.
TODAY I know not just from theory or mother’s wit…. But from the pain in and of my past it’s truly worth letting God lead and its more pleasant and peaceful JUST TO SERVE GOD FAITHFULLY and wait on the sideline and let HIM call the plays.
2/21 I AM SOOoooo HAPPY / CLEAN & FREE!!! This year, on 2/22 tomorrow just a few hours away I can sincerely say HAPPY BIRTHDAY 2 ME! Without the sad tears and in the meantime…
Well we’ll just have to wait & see….
GOD IS FOREVER FAITHFUL……just tell the REAL (uncut) Testimony!!!!
I had to get healed up first to know what signal I was sending… Behind the locks, curls, make-up, degrees was a wounded little girl. Looking for a daddy, a rescuer, a hero JUST, anybody.., please some man love me!!!
Oh but when God really touched my bleeding heart and began to restore all that was lost.,., I knew He had a King for the Queen He designed me to be…
No it’s not all their fault they were just as screwed up as I. But I stopped the disguise, woke up in time, unveiled the mask and stopped my emotional demise.
Well its time to CELEBRATE have someone calling me right now telling me to go get dressed…. Gotta run… Maybe I’ll come back and finish… Maybe not… But you got the point… Let bygones be done and move forward… To the higher calling…
Live life full of Joy…and let God show you how to have PURE FUN!!!